Archive for the ‘ loveblushfever ’ Category

little things…

 

 

 

 

Advertisement

photo by loveblushfever(c)

Who are we? We find that we live on an insignificant planet of a humdrum star lost in a galaxy tucked away in some forgotten corner of a universe in which there are far more galaxies than people.  Carl Sagan

 

blue day

photo by loveblushfever

january blues all beat up cold tired restless and bored what i’d do for just a little sun, a little warmth, the sound of snow melting and the slapping of a skipping rope in the driveway instead it’s the snapping of branches in the cold dark night, the man across the street who works early and wakes me at 4 in the morning as he scrapes frost from his front windshield.

god i hate winter.

passages

photo by loveblushfever (c)

reclamation

Small things are gigantic.   A heart on fire in the middle of the ocean.  One lonely tree on a hilltop.  An old couple holding hands at the market.    A clock on the mantle counting down the moments.

I thrive on pretense and assumption, on hope and yearning.  Some corner of meager existence, where things make sense in a small way, and little things are just little things, with a spill or two along the way.

Comfortably weary and restless.  I hear there’s only so much time.  And sometimes everything just has to be slow like snow falling.  And sometimes there is no reason, just an idea.

A concentrated mediocrity.  Boiled down, reduced, reclaimed, returned.  A lifetime isn’t enough.  There’s never enough time or hunger to go all the way round.

But to need a little less.  To let in a little more.  Of the world.  Of you.  So put on your face.  And your dancing shoes.

Life waits for no one.

-loveblushfever

 

Don’t say you don’t have enough time. You have exactly the same number of hours per day that were given to Helen Keller, Pasteur, Michaelangelo, Mother Teresa, Leonardo da Vinci, Thomas Jefferson, and Albert Einstein.

H. Jackson Brown Jr

Difficult times have helped me to understand better than before, how infinitely rich and beautiful life is in every way, and that so many things that one goes worrying about are of no importance whatsoever…

Isak Dineson

There is a time for departure even when there’s no certain place to go.

Tennessee Williams

 

OBLIVION #3

photo by loveblushfever (c)

Breeze coming in the window.  Quiet thoughts.   Simple, unadorned images of faint, yet bright memories drifting into and out of view.  What we have to say versus what we have to tell.  Stories have all kinds of beginnings.  I sift through fragments of thoughts, ideas of things, and hold on a little longer to some kind of meaning that continues to elude me.   It feels like I haven’t slept in years.  My keys are still in the door.  I’ve left the coffee on all day.   Laundry’s still in the washing machine.   I’m holding on to the edge of the desk half off my chair.  Either I’m terrified or I’m indecisive.  Regardless, it is the end of something.  I feel that whatever all of this has been is cascading to an end point where I don’t have to do this anymore, where there is no will to put myself through all the drama any longer.  It feels at once relieving, warm and good, and absolutely horrifying.  Anything that ends is this way.  I’m not prepared to embark, to push away from the shore and just float along, no direction, just stumbling through,  on undercurrents, fumes.  Just get on with it.  Inhale.

565

565

conundrum

emerging.  bringing.  recognizing.  adhering.  landscaping.  administering.

life is a conquest of the heart

everything matters

but nothing is dyer

because everything is clear

and well-jointed- and falling off the bone

a labour of love.

conundrum.

loveblushfever

autumn

un-precipice

over the edge

of a tall place

thinking, hell, why not?

but also why bother?

it’s all a chore

something to be crossed off but it’s somebody else’s list

i’m fumbling along with adverbs

they’ve already dictated my epitaph

i’m not sure if i should be amused or outraged

this is the extent of my involvement in my life

i just breath and get on with it

apparently there’s this whole other realm

of participation

still

it’s just me breathing

idea #3

photo by loveblushfever (c)

 

there is no such thing as partial investment

not when it comes to living

you either breath in and out or…

but do it with some noise

with bells on

in full colour

and whistling

while sucking a lemon

all while some bored god or two pulls your hair

life on the rocks

life

what is this progression of time

if time is nothing

well i’m full of it

searching, devouring, improvising

a play of too many parts

colliding

collapse

a friend once wanted to call his band that name

i said hurrah for saying yes

in a land of no

it is a busy thing

to feel and consider

the consequences of thoughts and projections

bubbles

conjurer of happy thoughts

bliss walks in

gleaming and shiny

i’d like to say i’m above feeling good

i’m not

passages into and through me

dictate that to feel is to live

and to live is…

to breath

in and out

at least once in a while

to believe that life is a process

like any other transaction

there is a price

what are you willing to pay to feel?

what is worth the bother of deconstruction

because to feel is to deconstruct

to analyze

to interpret

life is a ship venturing out into unknown waters

i gingerly set foot upon it

and hope for the best

and of course to think to myself

silently

or at least under my breath

that i am worthwhile in a selfish

all or nothing sort of way

that life is good

that solitude warms me more than the presence of others

it isn’t that you’re less

but that the absence takes up more space

because it is full of itself

and rearing it’s beautiful head back in a laugh

i crumble in the face of eternity

relishing every moment alone

-loveblushfever

%d bloggers like this: