Archive for the ‘ loveblushfever ’ Category
photo by loveblushfever
january blues all beat up cold tired restless and bored what i’d do for just a little sun, a little warmth, the sound of snow melting and the slapping of a skipping rope in the driveway instead it’s the snapping of branches in the cold dark night, the man across the street who works early and wakes me at 4 in the morning as he scrapes frost from his front windshield.
god i hate winter.
photo by loveblushfever (c)
reclamation
Small things are gigantic. A heart on fire in the middle of the ocean. One lonely tree on a hilltop. An old couple holding hands at the market. A clock on the mantle counting down the moments.
I thrive on pretense and assumption, on hope and yearning. Some corner of meager existence, where things make sense in a small way, and little things are just little things, with a spill or two along the way.
Comfortably weary and restless. I hear there’s only so much time. And sometimes everything just has to be slow like snow falling. And sometimes there is no reason, just an idea.
A concentrated mediocrity. Boiled down, reduced, reclaimed, returned. A lifetime isn’t enough. There’s never enough time or hunger to go all the way round.
But to need a little less. To let in a little more. Of the world. Of you. So put on your face. And your dancing shoes.
Life waits for no one.
-loveblushfever
H. Jackson Brown Jr
Isak Dineson
“There is a time for departure even when there’s no certain place to go.”
Tennessee Williams
photo by loveblushfever (c)
Breeze coming in the window. Quiet thoughts. Simple, unadorned images of faint, yet bright memories drifting into and out of view. What we have to say versus what we have to tell. Stories have all kinds of beginnings. I sift through fragments of thoughts, ideas of things, and hold on a little longer to some kind of meaning that continues to elude me. It feels like I haven’t slept in years. My keys are still in the door. I’ve left the coffee on all day. Laundry’s still in the washing machine. I’m holding on to the edge of the desk half off my chair. Either I’m terrified or I’m indecisive. Regardless, it is the end of something. I feel that whatever all of this has been is cascading to an end point where I don’t have to do this anymore, where there is no will to put myself through all the drama any longer. It feels at once relieving, warm and good, and absolutely horrifying. Anything that ends is this way. I’m not prepared to embark, to push away from the shore and just float along, no direction, just stumbling through, on undercurrents, fumes. Just get on with it. Inhale.
over the edge
of a tall place
thinking, hell, why not?
but also why bother?
it’s all a chore
something to be crossed off but it’s somebody else’s list
i’m fumbling along with adverbs
they’ve already dictated my epitaph
i’m not sure if i should be amused or outraged
this is the extent of my involvement in my life
i just breath and get on with it
apparently there’s this whole other realm
of participation
still
it’s just me breathing
life
what is this progression of time
if time is nothing
well i’m full of it
searching, devouring, improvising
a play of too many parts
colliding
collapse
a friend once wanted to call his band that name
i said hurrah for saying yes
in a land of no
it is a busy thing
to feel and consider
the consequences of thoughts and projections
bubbles
conjurer of happy thoughts
bliss walks in
gleaming and shiny
i’d like to say i’m above feeling good
i’m not
passages into and through me
dictate that to feel is to live
and to live is…
to breath
in and out
at least once in a while
to believe that life is a process
like any other transaction
there is a price
what are you willing to pay to feel?
what is worth the bother of deconstruction
because to feel is to deconstruct
to analyze
to interpret
life is a ship venturing out into unknown waters
i gingerly set foot upon it
and hope for the best
and of course to think to myself
silently
or at least under my breath
that i am worthwhile in a selfish
all or nothing sort of way
that life is good
that solitude warms me more than the presence of others
it isn’t that you’re less
but that the absence takes up more space
because it is full of itself
and rearing it’s beautiful head back in a laugh
i crumble in the face of eternity
relishing every moment alone
-loveblushfever
M | T | W | T | F | S | S |
---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | |||
5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 |
12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 |
19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 |
26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 |