laugh. it’s good for you.

All the things I really like are either immoral, illegal or fattening.
Alexander Woollcott

Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
Mae West

For a while we pondered whether to take a vacation or get a divorce. We decided that a trip to Bermuda is over in two weeks, but a divorce is something you always have.
Woody Allen

If at first you don’t succeed, remove all evidence you ever tried.
David Brent

There are two types of people in this world: good and bad. The good sleep better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more.
Woody Allen

To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer.
Paul Ehrlich

Just because you’re not paranoid doesn’t mean they’re not out to get you.
Colin Sautar

Love your enemies. It makes them so damned mad.
P.D. East

Moderation is a fatal thing. Nothing succeeds like excess. Oscar Wilde

There is a theory which states that if ever for any reason anyone discovers what exactly the Universe is for and why it is here it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another that states that this has already happened.Douglas Adams

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It’s just that yours is stupid.  Anonymous

The only reason people get lost in thought is because it’s unfamiliar territory.  Anonymous

I guess I just prefer to see the dark side of things. The glass is always half empty. And cracked. And I just cut my lip on it. And chipped a tooth.”  Janeane Garofalo

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